Dear Drivers of Lake Tahoe ...

Stop riding my ass.

Seriously.

Tonight I drove to Reno in a pretty gnarly (yea I said gnarly) blizzard.

Normally I hide out during blizzards, grab a frozen California Pizza Kitchen margarita pizza, a six pack and veg out with a good chick flick. But I have a doctor's appointment in Reno this morning, so I had to venture out in weather that I wouldn't even go out in to get to my boyfriend's loving arms (sorry Mike, I'm a bad bad driver).

And I am a bad bad driver. People call airbag instead of shotgun in my car. Part of the reason my parents are obscenely overprotective is because of my not so stellar record behind the wheel.

So driver in the 4-runner behind me, so close that I can't even see your grill, back the fuck off.

Don't tempt fate.

You make me nervous and jittery, which is not cool on top of the shitty practically white-out weather at 7,000 feet that I'm driving through. I've got my car in first gear and chains on, which means I am not going faster than 20.

Fucking deal with it.

You shouldn't be going faster than 20 either.

Snow is dangerous. When I see people almost spin out when pulling out of Raley's I know to drive careful. You drive careful too.

We've all got places to go and people to see. I'm sure you need to get home or to another ski resort or whatever, and that's cool. But I've got people who I love, and who love me, who don't necessarily want to see me mangled in the snow. Unless I survive, cause really that would be prime making fun of Flanz time, and who can pass up on that?

But for the sake of my over-protective parents, chatty best friend, loving-arms boyfriend and important etc. person in my life, g-e-t o-f-f m-y a-s-s.

Kay?

Thanks!

<3

Flanz.

P.S. To the guy at the 76 station who almost made me pay $40 to hook the last loop of my chains in because having a person other than a technician install chains on the property is a liability, screw you too. Well, not really, cause I flirted my way out of it. But seriously? It's a fucking blizzard outside. I'm an insurance liability if I don't have chains on. And if it's really that big of a deal post something in your parking lot.

P.P.S. Yea, I Annie "I stay at a hotel instead of going camping in a tent" Flanz, put on chains.

P.P.P.S. In heels.