On courage

Things I've decided:

Being a grown up is scary.

Really scary. Lots of bills and not enough money to cover them scary. Working overtime so you can eat this week scary. Making choices and having no clue about the outcome scary. Navigating a work place and the "real world" scary. Trying to build relationships in the midst of all this is scarier.

But the scariest part? That I've become scared.

I'm not a fearful person. I'm a person who feels scared, sucks it up and charges forward knowing, somewhere, that the choices I make will somehow work out.

But I've been terrified for the past few weeks. Terrified to the point of emotional, hysterical, tear-filled, hyper-ventilating breakdowns ... which I rarely, if ever, have.

So I've decided, today, to not be scared anymore. Or rather to recognize that I am scared, and sometimes alone, but that I am, and will be, OK.

"Courage, it would seem, is nothing less than the power to overcome danger, misfortune, fear, injustice, while continuing to affirm inwardly that life with all its sorrows is good; that everything is meaningful even if in a sense beyond our understanding; and that there is always tomorrow." - Dorothy Thompson.

I love that quote. Because it's not just saying "everything will be OK in the end" it's saying that courage is within our control. Courage is a matter of affirming hope and faith. Courage is bolstered by holding onto the moments and things that bring you joy and letting go of those that don't. Courage is looking at fear, acknowledging it and leaving it behind.

So I'm leaving it today. And in the words of my other favorite heroine "tomorrow, is another day."